As I searched the basement for my file, I felt a sense of panic.
What if I found it?
Would it unlock some key to the inner mystery of me?
Would it explain why I think too much?
Why I'm so darn sensitive?
Why I have trouble in my relationships?
I scanned through the labels on each box until my eyes rested on two..
J---L and Mc---Na
The space where my last name would have fallen was conspicuously absent.
Anxiety flushed hot through my body and settled in the pit of my stomach.
What if someone catches me down here?
How would I explain?
As a current employee, I could likely come up with an acceptable justification.
But, I'm quite sure my anguished expression would give me away.
I quickly turned from the boxes but forced myself to turn back,
determined to leave only after my mind had exhausted itself with the search.
Less than ten minutes later I closed the heavy metal door and ascended the staircase.
I have no more answers than when I entered and any evidence of my past is scheduled to be permanently destroyed next Wednesday...